Huntsville City Planner Has Surprise Announcement

Hundreds of people gathered today at a press conference held at Big Spring Park in Downtown Huntsville. The conference was held by spokesperson and city planner, Tiffany Dungmire, as she announced the city’s plan to erect a 750 million dollar sportsplex on the very spot she was standing.Screenshot_2014-07-03-13-00-45-1

The plan, scheduled to break ground next week, includes spaces for a bank, several restaurants, a brewery, and several retail outlets, along with a state of the art stadium capable of hosting multiple sports such as baseball, football, and soccer.

“The sportsplex is being built in hopes to rejuvenate downtown as well as hopefully lure a professional sports team to the city,” Ms. Dungmire said.  With the high cost of this project there is another cost that won’t go unnoticed, which is the loss of our beloved Big Spring Park. It has become an iconic part of the city for locals as well as visitors from around the world, and the landscape of our city will be changed forever, but at least Huntsville will have sports.

The conference ended with a round of Q&A from the outraged and concerned citizens in attendance. Many voiced valid concerns.

Mary Dunkin, a stay at home mom, asked, “How will this project be funded? Are tax payers expected to foot the bill for this?”

The city planner put her mind at ease, assuring her and everyone in attendance the budget for this project has allocated nearly 10% of the funding already from revenue collected in taxes. She then added, “we expect 90% of the funds for this project to be collected via Kickstarter.” Kickstarter is a crowd funding website, where awards are given at different levels of donations for such projects, this type of funding has been successful for many indie rock bands and gaming developers around the world.

Peter Shupe, a stay at home dad, asked, “ Why are you building the sportsplex here, and ruining Big Spring Park?”

Ms. Dungmire replied, “Simple, the park doesn’t make us any money.” she added, “Plus it’s full of duck crap. Do you like sitting in duck crap, sir?”

The conference was brought to a screeching halt by what ended up being the most valid concern, voiced by Mr. Blackwell, a local farmer, when he asked, “ We couldn’t even fund or support a minor league baseball team, what makes you think this half baked idea will work?”

City planner Tiffany Dungmire’s response was surprising to say the least, “…We have a minor league baseball team!?!?”

 

Richard Ryder

 

3 thoughts on “Huntsville City Planner Has Surprise Announcement

Comments are closed.